Far-N-Ear

I know there is a missing "N" here somewhere. Unless the cabbie is also an ENT expert.

Onassis

This guy should meet Rich and Famous.

Fuching

For some strange reason, this reminds me of the old joke about the three Chinese men who wanted to immigrate to America, so they tried to Westernize their names. Boo became Buck, Choo became Chuck, and Foo -- he went back to China.